December 9th, 2011

Korean VA

The post about my neighbors you've been waiting for

Actually, that's not true. I'm pretty sure the post you've really been waiting for involves a Soviet flag being hung from their front porch and an entire army of surveillance deer on the lawn. Well, that's not what this post is about. This is just a long-anticipated update.

I won't bother catching newcomers up on my neighbors. You can check that out by clicking the "neighbors" tag below. I've had nothing to report for a while simply because...well, there was nothing going on next door. In the spring, we heard the house had been sold, but nothing came of that. A couple months later, another guy came asking us what we thought of the house and the neighborhood because he was about to buy it. This was shortly after the break-in, so we lied and said everything was perfectly nice. He told us he was getting the house inspected the next day...and that was the last we heard from him. I'm not sure what they found. Weapons? Bodies? Unclear.

Well, a few weeks ago, another gentleman stopped me outside to say that he was now going to buy the house. He wanted to know about commuting traffic and things like that, which I was happy to answer. He told me he planned on being a good, quiet neighbor--an admission which many have pointed out to me is a sure sign that something nefarious is going on. It was around that time that I noticed something alarming.

The surveillance deer is gone.

WHERE DID IT GO? I don't know. I'm not even sure how long it's been gone. With as preoccupied as I've been with the baby these last few months, there's no telling when it disappeared. We have no clue what happened to it. Did the house's original owners reclaim it out of sentiment? Did the realtor throw it away for fear its tackiness would drive away sales? Or did the KGB seize it before its technology could fall into the wrong hands? We'd known the house was for sale earlier this year and had figured whoever bought it wouldn't want the deer, so we'd hoped we could take it off their hands in order to further the comic appeal it's brought to my blog. Looks like that's not going to happen.

So, that's the latest. Now that the deer and the KGB are gone for good, we have nothing to do but wait and see if this new neighbor really is "good and quiet." I can say that so far, he hasn't been the latter. As soon as he moved in, he started some massive building project. There have been contractors there all week doing goodness knows what. Maybe he was returfing the backyard, which had its grass stripped by the KGB (probably for better access to their underground bunker). I suppose if I were a really good neighbor (and investigator), I would bake some cookies and take them over. Except, I don't bake.

Stay tuned for more updates!