And it might as well be me.

The internet has completely revolutionized the writing world. 20 years ago, you didn't see a lot of interaction between authors. You know those Stephen King portrayals? Of solitary authors who mostly communicate with their agents and editors? That's what it was like. Except, they were a little less crazy. A little.

Nowadays? Not so. The internet has connected writers around the world. We all know each other in some capacity, at least in my genre. We read each other's blogs, share forums and mailing lists, etc. We talk agents, advances, foreign rights, reviewers, promotion, and everything else in between. It's great. But when you get this many people--this many creative people who live inside their own heads most of the time--the inevitable has to happen.

It becomes like high school.

I have a feeling I'll get in trouble for this, but it's true. Now, the majority of writers connect with each other in sincerely friendly ways. I'm continually amazed at the number of times I've approached an author I barely know and gotten help. But, oh friends, cliques and cattiness abound. Sometimes these cliques are based on random internet connections, people who've chatted and found a connection. Some cliques are based on having the same publisher. Some on having the same agent. Some on geography. I think anyone who reads my blog for a week can figure out my posse.

Usually, everyone's nice to each other. And most of the time, you treat writers like kids you pass in the hall. You kind of know them and have no real problems. Then there are the ones that drive you crazy, like the beautiful popular girls who put on a fake face for the world and then likely sleep with your boyfriend. There are the ones you want to punch because you know they cheated on that exam. There are the cheerleaders who get mad that you aren't showing more school spirit. There are the quarterbacks whose attention you'd do anything to get. There are the ones who cut class to go smoke. And of course, there are the band students.

It's a crazy world, I tell you, and sometimes it's wearying. I thought I'd have a solitary job when I got into this business, and I'm glad I don't. I adore my friends and am so glad they have my back. But man, the politics and drama rival that in our books somedays.

Gotta run. Caitlin and I are so going off campus for lunch today.

For someone who used to be a reality television snob, I sure do seem to watch a lot of it nowadays. My poisons of choice are Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, and--God help me--American Idol. This is actually the first season I've ever watched AI, and like so many other reality tv shows, it's eerily compelling.

But I'm not here to talk about the cat fights or how the reality tv industry would come crashing down if there was ever a film editors strike. Mostly, I'm fascinated by the Reality TV Contestant Mentality.

Like, some people have staked their entire lives and identities on winning these shows. And don't get me wrong, I'm all about following dreams. Writing, in some ways, is exactly that, and I take personal offense at those who say a goal is out of reach and that you need to be practical. I strongly believe in fighting the odds to follow a dream--but dude, you gotta have a back-up plan. Even with books published, I keep an eye on that dusty old teaching certificate of mine because you never know what can happen.

But these contestants are utterly floored when they don't make it--particularly in the early episodes when shows are culling the herd. Maybe it's the shock of the moment, but I'm always amazed when someone says: "I don't know what I'm going to do with my life now." Whoa. Really? Did you have a job or maybe some other way to pursue music? Is there another reality show you can go on? The Top Model ones really have good sound bites, like the sobbing girl last cycle who cried, "What am I going to do? I don't want to get a job or go to school!" You tell 'em, girl. It's hard, no lie.

I'm also fascinated by the battle cry of contestants across all reality shows, no matter what the theme: "I want it more than anyone else on this show." They all say that! How do you prove that? What exactly has to happen for you to want it the most? I might say that I want me to finish Shadow Kiss more than anyone else in the world...but yanno? I think there might be some fans who want it even more. Not sure how you quantitatively measure that.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh here. I think for a lot of people, who come from certain walks of life, being a singer or a model is akin to walking on the moon. They have neither the knowledge nor resources to even begin to pursue something like that. To them, I suppose reality tv might be the only way in the world to even come close. Maybe. Or are these people simply products of a get-something-for-nothing mentality in America? Is our society fostering an idea that hard work is less effective than a few weeks of judging and challenges?

I can't say for sure. All I can say is that I got 5 hours of sleep, and right now, I want coffee more than any of ya'll.

A lot of people seem to think I'm more powerful and famous than I really am. Someone referred to me as a celebrity recently, and I was kind of surprised. The truth is, my life is decidedly unglamorous, and if you ranked me on the scale of author famousness, I'd come up pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. I mean, look at my life. I have to budget my money. I wear pajamas for an alarming part of the day. Chili followed by a scone for dessert is one of my favorite meals. I wake up in the middle of the night, worried about my career. Not glamorous.

That being said, I do have a public face now on this blog, on other people's blogs, and in public events like signings and cons. And it's hitting me lately just how much of a control switch that requires. I find myself having to bite my tongue--or, in the virtual world, my hands--and just stay quiet. Now, I know some writers who would respond to that with, "FIGHT THE MAN! CENSORSHIP IS THE DEVIL! YOU'LL NEVER SILENCE ME, BIG BROTHER!" But I'm not talking about being quiet on controversial issues like politics or sex or whatever. I'm simply referring to the fine line one has to walk in order to keep a professional reputation with others in this [and any other] job.

For example, if a reviewer misinterprets something in one of my books, I can't comment on that or correct them. It makes me sound like a petty author, and I don't ever want to interfere with a reviewer's right to express their opinion. When some new 'controversy' arises in the writing community, I can't let it be known if I think it's ridiculous or overblown. For things like ebook piracy, I have to step back and let my publishers deal with it. I certainly can't talk about people or groups I don't like, and I know for a fact my anti-censorship peeps share this view.

I also won't delve too much into the depths of my personal life, for a whole assortment of reasons. I think I have an obligation to those in my life whom I care about. They don't have a public face, and I make a choice to keep them out of the limelight in anything more than a superficial way.

And it's frustrating sometimes, particularly when I'm sitting and trying to think of topics for this blog. Lately, there's one writing thing I would LOVE to blog on and rip apart, but that would get me in a lot of trouble and make me a lot of enemies. That's something I don't want to deal with, nor do I want to endanger my reputation. I'm really quite mild and laidback and don't want to convey a different message. So, on goes the control switch, and I must save that for gossip with my friends--provided it's something that won't get me in trouble with them either!

The funny thing is that I think a lot of this self-censoring comes with the fact that I'm still climbing as an author. I think when you get bigger, you have more leeway with being eccentric/ranty/unlikeable/crazy. It's almost like the more famous you get, the less of a real person you become for people. I see this in the way people talk about true celebrities--like movie stars and authors of the Rowling or King variety. Those people in the spotlight seem to lose their humanity, which is a scary thing but an inevitable consequence when you put yourself out there.

Anyway, that's my musing for today. You see what I did there? I can't blog about what I wanted to, so I blogged about how I can't blog about what I want to blog about and must blog about not being able to blog about it.

Sheer. Genius.

When I heard they were remaking Star Trek into a movie, I was okay with that. Then, when I later learned there was going to be another X-Files movie, I decided that I was okay with that too--and maybe even a little excited to see it. (I have a lot of leniency when it comes to Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny).

It seems, however, that no less than the following are also going to be made into movies:

Dallas
Sex and the City
The A-Team
Fraggle Rock
24
Knight Rider
CHiPs
Speed Racer
I Dream of Jeannie
Get Smart

Um.

O Hollywood, when will it end? Didn't you learn your lesson from Miami Vice and The Dukes of Hazzard? When will the madness stop, Hollywood? When?


Discuss amongst yourselves.

Super Tuesday feels pretty super because all sorts of good things are happening right now for me, personally and professionally. They keep coming, and that nagging part of me is waiting for the other to shoe to drop, 'cos I'm a worrier like that. I really should just chill and enjoy it all. I'm waiting on one big thing in particular, so cross your fingers it comes through because that would be beyond awesome.

Anyway. Super Tuesday's here, ironically following the Super Bowl. Washington State's primaries aren't until February 19, so we're not part of the excitement. Still, I'm following what's going on in the rest of the country because I'm concerned about the fate of our blessed nation. I don't think today will decide whether Hillary or Obama gets the nomination, which is fine since I'm still not sure who I'm going to vote for on the 19th. They each have points that intrigue me, and I'm particularly concerned with health care. I like the idea of a national system, but I'm not sure if either could implement one. This country doesn't react well to major changes, aside from starting wars. And honestly, I have no idea how any candidate's going to fix that mess.

I'm very curious about who America is more likely to elect: a black man or a white woman. As I said, change comes slowly around here sometimes. I'm pretty anxious to get a Democrat in the White House, and I hope people choose based on issues. Of course, if McCain gets the GOP nod, that's going to stir things up since he's every liberal's favorite Republican. I mean, he was on Saturday Night Live. McCain going up against either of the other two could make for a pretty interesting election.

Anyway, those are my political musings for today, and I'll stop since I don't want to get too serious on ya'll. I do have a question for my international readers, though. We Americans are pretty egocentric when it comes to the news. Don't get me wrong, world events make our news but not to the extent they should sometimes. I'm curious, though, how much of our doings other countries follow. Are our primaries and presidential race getting global attention? I know there's a lot of Bush hatred in the world, and I wonder if that translates to people eyeing our upcoming change in leadership. But maybe that's the self-centered American in me presuming everyone's watching us.

I'm off to work on Succubus Dreams edits now, and for those who missed it, I posted a Frostbite excerpt.

I was asked to be in two anthologies today, which is pretty sweet. Peeps Caitlin and Jackie were also invited to their own respective anthologies today, and Kat's been working on some stuff for one for a while now. All of us have different anthologies with different topics and different publishers. And something occurred to me.

There are a lot of anthologies out there.

I don't know if this has always been the case or if I'm simply paying more attention now, but it seems like anthologies are running rampant in urban fantasy and paranormal romance. The topics are legion too: demon romance, vampire holidays, etc. As a writer, this is pretty awesome because it's all good fun for me. I like writing stories and novellas--they give me a chance to step back from the larger, more complex story arcs of the novels. But as a reader...well, I have a confession. I rarely read short stories or the anthologies they come from. When I'm hooked on an author, it's because I'm hooked on the 'big' story in their novels, and self-contained shorts tend to make me impatient. Of course, patience has never been one of my virtues.

Clearly, not everyone thinks like me (which is probably a good thing), and I know lots of people who love it when authors release stories and novellas that give a small taste of the characters between novels. So, here's my question. Er, questions. Where are you guys on this? Do you read both stories and novels, one or the other, etc? Do you find when you pick up an anthology because of one author, you end up discovering another? How do you feel about self-contained short stories that require no knowledge of an author's other books vs. ones that play a role in the actual series?

So many questions, I know. And here's some more that are completely unrelated:

Why is there such a lack of Richelle Mead fan art out there? I've found exactly one picture of Rose. Sigh. What am I suppsoed to make LJ icons out of? Is this going to require another contest?

So, I was over at lolcatz's house today, and he had an episode of Kid Nation recorded. I don't know if anyone's ever watched this, but it's a reality show where they toss a bunch of kids into a pseudo-frontier town and make them survive on their own. They have to cook their own food, work, and set up a government of sorts.

Now, when I first heard about this show, my initial thoughts were, "Oh, snap! Time to kick it Lord of the Flies style!" While the show is still entertaining, the chaos I was hoping for hasn't entirely manifested. Well, they bicker a lot, but no one's been bludgeoned and killed yet. I'm guessing they're going to save that for the season finale. Nonetheless, you can kind of see the same LotF factions coming out. There are the kids who want it very orderly, and the ones who kind of want to wing it. Despite the kids technically being 'on their own,' there's still a framework set up by the producers, and I have to wonder that if completely left to their own devices, if the aggressive ones would win out. Human civilization throughout the ages has shown that happening time and time again.

Of course, the best part of this episode had little to do with the government today. Part of the show focused on this girl who was obsessed with their chickens. Or rather, she was obsessed with some of them. "I think that pretty things should live, and ugly ones should be eaten." I have to think that that too is a social commentary on how we regard people's appearances. I also think it's actually being practiced. I mean, no one's heard from Linda Tripp in a while. Just sayin'.

I was commenting on a forum tonight about someone's new gym membership and realized that I have been a member of five different gyms this year. Why? Because I've lived in five different places this year.

(Okay, this was the spot where I launched into this whole philosophical reflection on the changes my life has undergone this year. I tied it into Thanksgiving and what I'm grateful for. I also waxed on about how I have a lot of good things going on now but that I still carry around a lot of fear and that I don't know what's going to happen next. No one does. But that spiel was getting kind of sappy, and I was starting to use metaphors about chess boards and magic bubbles. Deletion was needed.)

So.

Let me segue into telling you that I made deviled eggs for the first time in my life today as my contribution to Thanksgiving dinner. These eggs were quite possibly the most complex food item I've made in...five years. Funny thing: I make hard boiled eggs all the time and have no trouble peeling them. Today, I followed cryptic directions on how to make them peel 'perfectly' and had a real bitch of a time getting those shells off. A lot of language that I cannot repeat here ensued. Nonetheless, I succeeded, and these eggs are so beautiful, I want to weep. They are God's Deviled Eggs.

On the subject of what I'm grateful for, I get to share said eggs with a great group of friends whom I adore to no end. I am beyond lucky to have such people in my life and am so happy to be here with them in Seattle. Tomorrow...er today...er whatever is going to be a very good day, and I hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving holiday--even if you're not in the U.S. Think of us and our turkey. And our deviled eggs.

Remember guys--the contest is going on through this weekend. Check the previoius post for details and win a Succubus on Top ARC!

Almost 7 months ago, very near the release of Succubus Blues, something happened one night that I knew was going to change my life forever. I didn't know how, only that it was A Moment--one of those moments in time you just feel and know will be important. It burned in my chest, in my lungs. I didn't sleep that entire night--or for a few nights thereafter. I could barely eat. That's how big the impact was. I could only hold my breath and wait.

And I was right. The spiraling effects of that night did go on to change my life, more so than I ever imagined. At this point in the story, I know you're like, "Damn it, Richelle! Why must you always speak in these enigmas? Tell us what happened!" Well, I wish I could, but as much as I love my blog readers, there are some things I must keep to myself. So, alas, I can only give you my reactions. Just believe me when I say, these months have seen places and feelings I never expected to experience.

But like so many learning experiences, they eventually run their course. I've come to peace with and adjusted to most of this summer's momentous changes (divorce, moving to a new city, etc.), but two things have been sticking with me. One is VA2 aka Frostbite, which I ironically started 7 months ago and have let follow me through this whole wave. I just can't *quite* get it where I want, and I know my emotions are to blame. The other sticking point...well, the other finally resolved itself tonight. And it's been hard because it was the initial catalyst for this upheaval of my life, and I've had a hard time knowing when to walk away. I thought I'd solved it a few weeks ago, but it turned out I hadn't. But tonight...tonight I realized I'd gotten all I was going to get out of it. I looked at it and thought, "What's the matter with you? How many more neon signs are you going to need, woman? Let go." And I did. I had learned and grown, and I was right to turn my life in a new direction. No guilt. No looking back. The feeling of liberation is amazing--I hadn't realized I'd been missing it.

And so, here I am, ready to move on to the next stage of whatever's out there. This is good news for my friends who, god love 'em, have been trying to get me to this point for some time. It's also good news for my editors because with the lifting of this burden, I suddenly feel awake...the worlds in my books are open and alive to me again. Frostbite is going to achieve what it needs to.

I know, I know...this is all esoteric, melodramatic stuff, but come on. Yesterday I gave you sheep riding. I'm entitled to a little metaphor now and then. And as a postscript, I leave you with two things. The troubling news from yesterday turned out all right--my thanks to those who asked! Second, I'm considering switching this blog purely to LiveJournal. Blogger users, will this be a crisis?

Second postscript: Caitlin, in her infinite wisdom, has found a Buffy..er, Angel...clip that just might be appropriate to today's post. I do so love those who give me reality checks.

Lately I've been pondering the mysteries of human attraction. As someone who writes a lot of romance and sex type stuff, you'd think I'd be an expert in all this. But I'm not. I don't understand any of it. I do the best I can in my novels, as well as in real life.

What I'm really curious about recently is what binds people. What is it, when you first fall for somebody, that soooo consumes you? That makes you unable to stop thinking about him or her? That makes your heart flutter at the merest mention of their name? And then there's what happens when you part. Why does it hurt? How can another person have such a hold on you? Why can being away from someone cause such distress?

Me, I'm of two opinions on this, opinions which reflect my academic training. My formal education was split into two areas: evolutionary psychology and mythology. Mythology provides a very lovely, very romanticized concept of attraction and love. We read the stories of Psyche and Cupid, of Tristan and Iseult...and it makes us believe in a higher power--that there is something greater than all of us that can bind two people into a shared destiny, a destiny where beautiful and wonderful things can be accomplished.

Evolutionary psychology has a more pragmatic view. It's all about genes and chemicals. We're attracted to people for the sake of survival and reproduction. Those with beneficial genes attract us, then neurotransmitters and pheromones bind us. To be separated from that person is essentially like breaking a drug addiction. You have withdrawal, physical and mental effects...it's a purely biological thing.

Anyway, I throw this out because I don't have any answers. Maybe it's impossible to. A couple of weeks ago, I lost my faith in epic romances. I stopped believing that lightning can strike two people who are meant to be. I don't, however, think I'm far enough gone to believe we're all just chemicals either. Obviously, there's something in between. But what is it?

Thoughts?

Aside #1: Don't worry. My current cynicism aside, I'll still keep writing lovely romantic things. :)

Aside #2: Regarding yesterday's post...I couldn't figure out how to get the recycling bin out of the garage today. Please don't ask for details.

Well, tomorrow morning brings my return flight to Seattle. I have a 4-hour layover in Cincinnati, so I'm sure I'll crack and buy internet while waiting. Just think! My first ever airport blog post. Oh, the times they are a changing.

Tonight I wrapped up (for the time being) part of the family business I came here to deal with. It isn't perfect, but we made a lot of progress. Emotions ran pretty high--as often happens among family members in dispute--but I think everyone recognized in the end that we all just want the best and still love each other. Nonetheless, this week has taken its toll on me. It's hacked away a bit of my heart, as have some people in Seattle and New York. So, I'm running on empty at the moment and have an ache my chest. You know the ache I mean.

But, hey! No one reads this blog to hear my melodrama. You read this blog for wacky mishaps and my cheap wine-induced wit. So, my stress aside, Kalamazoo must truly be a magical place because three interesting things have happened during my stay here.

1. Acquisition of awesome dress(es). You guys know about the one Betsey dress I acquired, right? (See last post if not). Well, I planned on cutting myself off, but then Krystn had to go and be awesome. She found the first Betsey dress in Texas of all places, and it turns out they're more than happy to do a cross-country sale/shipping deal with me. Considering most of my wardrobe is from Target and occasionally Macy's, me owning two designer dresses is quite shocking (particularly since I want shoes too). But, after this week, my will is weak, and hey! It looks like I might have a bit of extra spending money because...

2. We sold Vampire Academy 3! Yup, while here, my agent and I negotiated the next VA book with Penguin/Razorbill. This is good times. I don't know what it'll be called yet, but considering my luck with titles, that shouldn't surprise anyone. The plot itself is also a bit elusive, but I know where this book lies in the series' plot arc, and some awesome things are going to happen. Stay tuned.

3. I think I like baseball. I realize for some of you, the shocking part of this is that I previously didn't like baseball. But it's true. I spent my youth snubbing sports. I hated P.E. class and have never really played any sports for fun. The gym is annoying enough now. But I do really love going to live games, and watching the Mariners at Safeco Field is pretty nice, what with the city skyline on one side and the mountains on the other. But while here, I actually started getting into watching it on TV. I'm kind of embarrassed about this. After all, I was the grunge girl in high school who read Shakespeare and never went outdoors. Okay, I still never go out doors, but after watching games with my parents this week (Detroit's doing good!), I really got into it. More embarrassing still, I went and looked at the Mariners' website to see if there were any home games coming up...

So, there you have it. If someone had told me ten years ago that I'd eventually be writing YA vampire books, buying designer dresses, watching baseball, AND getting on airplanes, I would have asked what they were smoking. I would not, however, have asked them to share. Not back then, at least.