Almost 7 months ago, very near the release of Succubus Blues, something happened one night that I knew was going to change my life forever. I didn't know how, only that it was A Moment--one of those moments in time you just feel and know will be important. It burned in my chest, in my lungs. I didn't sleep that entire night--or for a few nights thereafter. I could barely eat. That's how big the impact was. I could only hold my breath and wait.

And I was right. The spiraling effects of that night did go on to change my life, more so than I ever imagined. At this point in the story, I know you're like, "Damn it, Richelle! Why must you always speak in these enigmas? Tell us what happened!" Well, I wish I could, but as much as I love my blog readers, there are some things I must keep to myself. So, alas, I can only give you my reactions. Just believe me when I say, these months have seen places and feelings I never expected to experience.

But like so many learning experiences, they eventually run their course. I've come to peace with and adjusted to most of this summer's momentous changes (divorce, moving to a new city, etc.), but two things have been sticking with me. One is VA2 aka Frostbite, which I ironically started 7 months ago and have let follow me through this whole wave. I just can't *quite* get it where I want, and I know my emotions are to blame. The other sticking point...well, the other finally resolved itself tonight. And it's been hard because it was the initial catalyst for this upheaval of my life, and I've had a hard time knowing when to walk away. I thought I'd solved it a few weeks ago, but it turned out I hadn't. But tonight...tonight I realized I'd gotten all I was going to get out of it. I looked at it and thought, "What's the matter with you? How many more neon signs are you going to need, woman? Let go." And I did. I had learned and grown, and I was right to turn my life in a new direction. No guilt. No looking back. The feeling of liberation is amazing--I hadn't realized I'd been missing it.

And so, here I am, ready to move on to the next stage of whatever's out there. This is good news for my friends who, god love 'em, have been trying to get me to this point for some time. It's also good news for my editors because with the lifting of this burden, I suddenly feel awake...the worlds in my books are open and alive to me again. Frostbite is going to achieve what it needs to.

I know, I know...this is all esoteric, melodramatic stuff, but come on. Yesterday I gave you sheep riding. I'm entitled to a little metaphor now and then. And as a postscript, I leave you with two things. The troubling news from yesterday turned out all right--my thanks to those who asked! Second, I'm considering switching this blog purely to LiveJournal. Blogger users, will this be a crisis?

Second postscript: Caitlin, in her infinite wisdom, has found a Buffy..er, Angel...clip that just might be appropriate to today's post. I do so love those who give me reality checks.